Something beautiful and deeply funny happened this summer: the guy who spent five years telling you MLS is a retirement league watched a World Cup on American soil, felt something, and quietly started checking domestic scores. He thinks nobody has noticed. We have all noticed.
He is one of five species of new fan currently loose in this country, and each one needs different handling. Consider this your field guide.
The converted Euro snob
Wounded pride, encyclopedic knowledge, secretly thrilled. Do not gloat. Ask him what he thinks about the Western Conference, then stand back and let him discover he has opinions. He will be running your supporters group within a year.
The World Cup romantic
Fell in love with the event, not yet the sport. The tournament was a wedding; now comes the marriage of a Wednesday night regular season game. Invite them to watch in a group. The crowd is what they actually fell for.
The stats defector
Came over from fantasy football looking for a new spreadsheet to feel things about. Soccer analytics is a gateway drug with no known exit. Feed them expected goals content and get out of the way.
The kid
Does not need a guide. The kid is fine. The kid has been fine since June 11. Buy the kid a scarf.
The reluctant spouse
Watched forty hours of soccer by proximity and started asking questions in the round of sixteen. Highest conversion rate of any group. Handle with care and never, ever explain offside unprompted.
Five species, one rule: nobody keeps a new fan by quizzing them. Pull up a stool, buy a round, argue generously. That is the entire business model of this sport, and honestly, of this journal.
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